100% Kink. No Place Like Home.
What’s the one common denominator that all successful relationships have? Kink, baby. Well, actually more than that. It’s about total acceptance. Not trying to change your significant other. I am 50% of one of those rare couples {well at least to me}, that have been together more than 20 years. I know a few others. And the one thing that stands out is acceptance. Accepting each other as they are. All their kinks, quirks, insecurities, and idiosyncrasies… Without judgement.
My wife and I are pretty much cut from the same cloth. That said, there are some very big differences between us. Not only do we accept each others differences. We celebrate them. That’s the very definition of a power couple. They empower each other. I know it is hard to believe, but we have never had a fight the entire time we have been together. And we never really said no to each other either. From sex, to money and everything else under the sun. If it wasn’t a yes, it was tabled until the other person got there. And there was no pushing, animosity, or ill feelings. Just respect, and knowing that we all grow at a different pace.
The couples that last are master communicators. They don’t fight. They explore. They respect the art of communication. And sometimes communication looks like, “I’m not in the right head space now. We’ll pick this conversation up when I can honor the process.” But the couples that do push, and need an answer {out of insecurities} almost never make it. Sure, I know couples that have been together 10, 20, and 30 years. But in my 4 decades working in mental health, I have seen and worked with far too many marriages of convenience. And there is nothing wrong with that. I just choose passion over comfort. But who knows. I am getting older. And {God forbid} something happened to my wife, it is within the realm of possibility that I may shack up with another. I seriously doubt it. But it is possible.
So why write about this today? It was about 4 in the morning and I got to thinking about my relationship. It has looked very different over the course of the years. But it always felt the same. It felt healthy. It felt like home. And I guess that is what I am writing about today. I love her kinks, quirks, insecurities, and idiosyncrasies. Because there is no place like home.
