1825 Days. The Right Tribe.

Like many of you, today I am home and have self quarantined. While I still have a few clients to see {online}, I have time to myself for the first time in about a year. Being home, I have been able to get on social media at times that I usually would not be able to. As I have been scrolling through my feeds, I thought I really have done a good job surrounding myself with amazing people. Sure, there is some content that does not resonate with me. But overall, you all nailed it.

What do I mean about amazing people? I mean people who instead of bitching about this national health crisis, are trying to uplift and offer hope. People who have made it more about we “the community”, than themselves. This is the world that I want to live in. This is the right tribe.

I am often asked how I deal with conflict. Fair question, but in reality, I rarely have to. Why? Becuase I am surrounded by the right tribe. That means my people in my personal space are responsible for the energy. Yes, we all have problems. But my tribe sees solutions instead of problems. They engage in activities that stimulate growth. When they’re wrong, they’re wrong. They don’t look for blame. They look to course correct. Even if it is them, that is off course.

I challenge you to look at your social media wall today. Is it a good experience for you? Or, do you leave feeling depleted? I know of people who spend thier entire time on social media not being social. Just like everybody else, I have a huge range of friends that on paper, I have nothing in common with. I do this because I want to learn. Not argue. I have friends who for the life of me, I cannot understand why or what they do? But you know what is cool about that? We can disagree and still have a mutually rewarding exchange. No one trying to change each other. No one calling names. Just two people accepting of each others choices and beliefs. And if that ain’t cool, I don;t know what is.

“I’ve built a tribe that in return has built me.”

But Vance, you have a lot of friends. You probably don’t know all those people. True! But, because I have seen something in their profile that inspired me, I took the time and got to know some of them. I have talked to some on the phone. I met a few in person. I’ve gained a few clients. I have sent gifts to some. Some have sent gifts to me. Every bit of a relationship, as those who I have personally surrounded myself with. I’ve built a tribe that in return has built me.

Do you have the right tribe? Do they make you think? Do they educate you? Do they support you? At the very least, is there something of value that you walk away with from your social media exchange? No? You’re in the wrong tribe my friend. Let me put it to you this way. If you’re talking to the same people, about the same problems 5 years from now, you let 1825 days get away from you. Because the right tribe, just like the right relationship, demands a better version of you. We all will have multiple tribes in our lives. But the one we settle in, defines our future.

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.