All Over Again
All over again. Day after day, after day, after day. I keep on falling deeper in love with her. For ten thousand different reasons. But moments like yesterday, certainly stand out. Maybe it’s my Buddhist values. Maybe it’s my love for life. Maybe because I was looking through the eyes of compassion. Whatever the maybe was, it reaffirmed what I have known for a couple of decades.
I have spent my life in the helping profession. And when I got married many years ago, my wife knew she would have to share me with the world. Her laid back view on life, along with her caring spirit, made my mission much easier. I can recall our first year of marriage. We were watching a fund raiser on TV. I asked if she minded if I sent 1000.00 in. Without hesitation she agreed. Or the countless times we saw someone on the side of the road, who looked like they could use a meal. We always took care of them.
Year after year my schedule became busier, and busier. She supported me, while I supported others. She would keep me sane, in insane times. But this chick was doing her own thing. She was always going the extra mile for her clients. Even when they couldn’t afford her. {Especially the elder and disabled ones.} I marvel at how people are naturally drawn to her. She is everything you would want in a wife, daughter, sister, or mother. She is a light that is sorely needed. But she is not here for me. She is here for us all.
The other day she stumbled onto a baby bird. I know. It doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it was to her. She didn’t give up on it, until she got it housed in a bird rescue. Why did this hit me so hard? I have been really busy with international contracts lately. She is disabled, and many days she relies on me to help her through the day. Despite me being busy, and her contending with her pain, she was relentless in helping this defenseless baby bird. It was like I fell in love with her all over again. I honestly couldn’t tell her enough, how proud I was of her.
The depth of her is deep enough to swim in. When we first got married, I was very well off. She didn’t care about the money. She just wanted to share time. And while we did live very well, you would often find us out in nature, or doing some cool obscure thing. To this day, we settle in low places. She doesn’t want diamonds. She wants crystals. She doesn’t crave fancy foods. She wants a greasy boardwalk pizza. She is not about makeup or fine clothes. She wants to collect feathers, and show you some badass rock she found.
There are ten thousand different reason that I love her. But mostly, it is her heart. When she pushes me to help someone. When she doesn’t have it in herself, but she finds a way to help regardless. The way she reminds me to call certain people by name, when we pray at night. All the things that so many deem as unimportant, she places them on an alter. That is why I worship with her. And today is no different. I just felt compelled to verbalize it. Because yesterday, I fell in love all over again.
