Awaken

There was a time when I was a young man, that I celebrated the darkness. I was at war with myself, as well as the world. For what reason, I don’t know. While I never used drugs, I did however drink. I hit it hard. So hard in fact, that I would often wake up in cities, and had no idea how I got there. I heard stories of things that I did, but had no recollection of them. But I digress…

I never considered myself to be an alcoholic, despite being a blackout drunk. Some very bad things happened, and I was totally engulfed in the darkness. Then one night, I woke up in the hospital. My mother was standing above me crying, and the news was not good. I told her I would never drink again. And in the morning, I checked out AMA {against medical advice.} I never drank again. That was 39 years ago.

I never worked a recovery program. I never took medication, saw a therapist, or went to AA. I didn’t need to recover. I needed to awaken. So, I went back to what I started as a young man. Meditation. I am not saying that the fore mentioned are not useful. I just new it would not be useful to me. Some people need it. In fact, most people do. I never defined myself as an alcoholic, but as someone who was lost. When I walked out of that hospital, I never drank again. No help needed. For the first time in years, I was awake.

The thoughts we think, create our reality. The words we speak, literally manifest over time. And the people we spend time with, become the very person we are. Are you picking up what I am laying down? It’s all on you, chief. Hold yourself accountable. Awaken to the fact that you have what it takes to move mountains. Limitations only exist in the mind. Working in mental health for 39 years, one thing alone stands out. No one is coming to save you. Sure, there are people, places, and therapies that can help you. But you must do the work. And none of it will work, if you don’t believe you are worthy, whole, and ready.

Do you know why I didn’t need help to stop drinking? Because my drinking wasn’t the problem. My mindset was. No one is coming to save you. But there is help. And you should accept it. But you never will. Unless you are ready to awaken.