Every morning without fail, my wife puts my bracelet on for me. I work long hours {I’m up way before her}, and in the gym between 4:30–5:30. As I am getting ready for work, to be out the door by 7:00, she comes and puts my bracelet on for me, lights incense and then gets my lunch ready. These are intimate moments that I see as priceless.

When she became disabled years ago, we both knew after her 8th surgery that our lives would look very different. But we didn’t skip a beat. The fact that she couldn’t work ever again, could have been a big strain on us. But we just carved out a life that made sense to us. And it worked. We have connected on a level that I never knew was even possible.

We pour into each other. Every day, several times a day. From our early morning conversations before I go to work, to our nightly holding of hands and praying together. We travel a lot. And despite my crazy work schedule, we still manage to go on a date 2–3 times a week. We save each other daily. And nothing we do is forced. We simply honor this thing called life, and truly want what is best for each other. One of the many reasons why in 20 years, we have never said no to each other…about anything. It may not have always been a yes, but we kept it on the table until we were both in the same place at the same time.

Our relationship is simply a microcosm of life. We see it as sacred, and we both are all in. It really is all about intimacy. I know couples that have been together for a handful of years, and they don’t even talk anymore. The quick text check-in, but no real dialog. That’s a pass for me. You want to build intimacy? When you talk with you partner, ask them questions. Then get lost in their passion. There is nothing more beautiful than watching a loved one express themselves about something they are passionate about. The way may wife’s eyes light up, literally lights my soul up.

So if you’re missing that spark in a relationship, job or life itself, build intimate practices. Pay attention and do not force. Slow down and get into the rhythm of life. I promise you, the world, people and life look completely different when we start treating them as sacred. As for me, it’s all about the little things. And my wife putting my bracelet on, is among the most sacred.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Vance Larson

Vance Larson

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.