Break The Lease

Let’s jump into it. No one has the right to tell you to grow up or get over it. Not me, your family or friends. That said….

Okay, some of us are hanging onto things that literally are impeding our growth. Keeping us from happiness. Some of us are paying rent on events that happened years ago, but we just can’t let them go. Even worse, some of us took out a lease and then moved in. The problem is we didn’t like the place then, yet we still live there. Our past experiences are in the past. I’m not talking about trauma. PTSD is very real, and should be treated as such. But those little thing that we hold onto and that somehow weigh us down.

Someone recently asked what I thought about karma? The truth is, I don’t think about karma at all. I think about love. Yes, bad things happen. Yes, people can do some really repugnant shit. But here’s the thing. While they should be held accountable, I don’t dare judge them. {At least I try not too.} I am reminded of my times working as a chaplain in prison. There were times that I sat face to face with people who have done the unthinkable. In those cases, they have been held accountable. I was there to love them as best I could. {I know, fucked up, right?} But it is possible. And if we don’t, who is the cycle going to break?

You have to find what works for you. What makes sense. Some probably think that I don’t have the right to speak on this. Truth is, I don’t care what they think. For I have seen and lived through the unimaginable. If I can forgive the guy that ultimately took my daughters life, I can tell you that it is possible to love the unlovable. Forgive, the unforgivable. Because I have found that I can carry love. Hate, is too much to carry. Therefore, I will not pay rent on a place that I will not reside.

If you’re hurting, please get help. Therapy, medication, meditation, nature or exercise. Whatever you need to do to save yourself, do it. But know this. Hate is not the answer. Yes, some people literally get away with murder. And having sat with murderers with no remorse, I can certainly see why hate is the easy answer. But if you’re still reading this, I suspect that you are holding onto something that is keeping you from happiness. Break the lease. Take a strategic foreclosure on that problem. Lose little, or lose big. You decide.

I miss my daughter everyday. But had it not been for the love and forgiveness that I offered up the day she passed, I would be leasing a living Hell. That’s not for me. I do not consent to pay that rent. Besides, wishing bad karma on someone, only brings bad karma to you. Break the lease. Save yourself.



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Vance Larson

Vance Larson

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.