Crash

I see it coming. I watched my family and friends go through it. Now, I am seeing it with both myself, and my wife. It is like watching a car crash in slow motion. Only there is very little I can do about it. The mental decline that comes with age. Literally forgetting what you’re doing, while you’re doing it. Or forget what you’re saying, as you are saying it. Oh yeah. There is going to be a crash.

One of my best friends is a gerontologist. A brilliant man. I have learned a lot from him. And he always say’s we should age loudly. I love that. Working in mental health for nearly 4 decades, I have seen so many seniors head into the crash. Many times, it starts with the subtle changes. In some cases, it get pointed out {often times with humor} by a loved one. And gradually over time, those conversations become the norm.

I have seen ageism first hand. I have been a victim of it many times. I know one day, I myself will steer into the crash head first. So, what did I do with this knowledge? I made the present the priority. I have real focus, in real time. I have become so much better in being present while sharing time with you. A life long meditation practice has kept me present for myself. But for others, I needed to do better. With this realization, I am doing better.

Am I afraid? Nope. I have slowed down. A lot. I am making better choices. Sure, I am still forgetful. But I am leaning in to the important things. Things like placing my hands on the side of my wife’s face, and then kissing her while she is talking to me. I am doing more things for me, for us. And while we, okay me, are very active on social media, I keep some things for myself. I don’t post as much as I used to.

I know the crash is coming. That is why every conversation and kiss mean something. Every sunset, prayer, walk, and every other little thing that we take for granted, I embrace. It literally slows down time. And that is a gift that is lost on many of us. But as you get older, hopefully the eyes open to the truth of limited time.

Life is beautiful. Even the hard days you will miss when you’re on your way out. You won’t miss the pain. But you will miss the process. And because I have lived an extraordinary life, no fear is associated with the crash. In fact, the pace that I am currently living, I don’t even have my hands on the wheel. I see most everything coming. I feel life at a soul level. I have forgiven at every level. The only thing left to do now, is be present.

The crash is coming. Just as it did for so many people that I have loved. And you know what? I am at peace with it.