Default Your Fault

You ever have one of those days, where it goes south from the minute you get out of bed? You know, you get a late start, get stuck behind every school bus and slow driver on the way to work. And then the real fun begins…

Yeah, of course you have. And today was one of those days for me. While I was driving 40 mph on a 55 mph highway, I started thinking, what is my default? And my default 95% of the time is to simply breathe. Give up the need to control. I wasn’t always like that. It took years and years of meditation to get to that point. But the point that I am making today, is your default is your fault.

What is your default setting when thing go south? Angry, frustrated or fearful? All acceptable emotions. Unfortunately, not too healthy for you. In fact, when we are hyper-focused on something, it consumes us. So, work to get your default setting to something that will bring you peace. Life is complicated enough without us walking around with anger and frustration. Lord knows, driving around that way, we run the risk of road rage. If we don’t change our default, it’s our fault.

When we are growing up, we are learning and developing our default. And yes, many may be working though some trauma. Notice I said working through. Those who decide to suppress those feeling and experiences, are sure to set the default to something non productive. And non productive in this case is destructive. We’re not talking about blame here. We’re talking quality of life. And who doesn’t want a better quality of life?

The good news, is no matter what the factory {genetics} settings are, we have a say. We can decide to keep those settings, or we can override them. It will take some time. It’s not always fun. And sometimes, the easier thing to do is just grab a drink {or whatever your go to vice is}, and numb it down. Which leads us back to unproductive and often destructive.

Okay so it really isn’t your fault that you have your default. But it is your fault, if you decide not to reset. Trust me, you’re worth it. As for me and my default, I sometimes get it wrong. But I am trying. And I hope you do too.




I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.

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Vance Larson

Vance Larson

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.

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