I was talking to a girlfriend the other day, and she stated that if a man doesn’t have a job, you should not fuck him or feed him. Of course she said, that does not apply if he were disabled. That got me thinking about how many rules we live by, that we are hanging onto from years ago.

I am 20 years older than my friend, so I tried to reference my thought process at that age. And it was true, I can recall there were certain things that I held onto that I really wasn’t willing to budge on. As I entered my 40’s, I became keenly aware of just how grey the world really is. It’s not black and white. It is literally colors that I never even imagined.

You would think that after spending 20 years as a crisis counselor, and all the unbelievable things that I’ve seen, that I would have gotten hip to that concept long ago. But as I write this piece, I think I held onto some of the rough thinking because I saw so much out of control, that I wanted to control what I could in my own life. Unfortunately in reality, we have very little control. And I think the longer you live, the more you realize that.

Fuck him or feed him I said, there are plenty of good men who can’t work because of restrictions and lock downs from COVID. Just one of the many examples in life where we don’t have control. Now I understand where she was coming from. And yes, I agree that you should not be giving away “the goods” if someone isn’t doing the bare minimum that life requires. The point that I was trying to make, is that there will be exceptions to every rule. And once you have a little time on you, I hope you would be open to not being so ridged.

Many people as they get older, become more closed off. It’s not for me to judge. I get it. Life can be cruel and we want to protect ourselves. But what I am saying today, is that sometimes we miss out on some wonderful people and experiences because we close ourselves off out of fear.

So yes, don’t fuck him or feed him. But first ask why he is not working?

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.