Fold

You didn’t fucking fold. Stop beating yourself up. That’s what I told her. Feeling defeated, she began to cry. I wondered just how many people are carrying the weight of failure?

My entire life has been cemented in mental health. Working as a coach, counselor and consultant, far too many of us are feeling that we didn’t live up to expectations. Expectations, the mother of all fuck ups. I once heard the phase that expectations are only future disappointments. I would tend to agree. Have a goal, set a plan, but do not beat yourself up if things turn out differently. Some of the best destinations were discovered accidently.

We need to inject a little grace into our lives. Be forgiving of ourselves. Life rarely unfolds perfectly. Not all endings came about by folding. There is insight, new information and gut feelings to be considered. It’s like you first start dating the perfect person. You can see a life together, but over time, you realized that there were some fundamental differences. As a result, the relationship ended. You didn’t fold, no matter what anyone says. You had a feeling, or new information was introduced into the equation.

Life is too short to be hanging onto the past. And even if you did fold, sometimes folding is strategic. Often saving us potentially years of heart ache. Grow up, get up, and get on with it. Do not be your own worst critic. The world has no shortage of them. Do not be at the top of that list. {Do not be on that list at all for that matter.}

So here you are. Give yourself a break. And if you need to fold, fucking fold. Walking away and quitting are two very different things. Either way, you deserve to be happy. And life waits for no one. So go be happy and forget the folding.