I Drink. I Get Drunk. I Pass Out.
It’s always the mother fucker that never had your problem, trying to tell you how to solve your problem. Let’s get into it…
There is an old joke. Someone say’s, “I think you have a drinking problem.” To which you reply, “I drink. I get drunk. I pass out. It’s no problem at all.” The worst advice, is unsolicited advice. Sure, sometimes they mean well. But they often invalidate your feelings and minimize what you’re going through. And that is not helpful. Often times, it does more harm then good.
People love to tell you what is wrong with you. Especially on social media. And I have written about that too. Social media ain’t always social. In some ways, it can even be deadly. People pushing false information. Find a system that works for you. Of course it is okay to ask for advice. But that one person that needs to be in every conversation…yeah, they ain’t helping. They are just talking to hear themselves talk.
I can recall when there was a short dark period in my life as a teenager. I drank too much and I was a black out drinker. And when my health landed me in the hospital, I knew I had to stop. And I did. I never went to a meeting, therapist or took medicine to assist in that process. I did what I do best. I jumped back into meditation. And against everyone’s advice, I made it. I have not taken a drink in over 35 years. Meditation is the system that works for me.
When I stopped drinking, I got rid of all those people that I was drinking with. It’s not that they were bad. They were just bad for me. They didn’t have my problem. But they sure set the table for me. So I surrounded myself with people who looked at life differently than I did. Paired with my mediation practice, I became a mother fucking force of nature. Over 4 decades later, I am still working in mental health, holding a safe space for those who have found a system that works for themselves.
There is never one system that is going to work for everyone. It may take you years to find the one that works for you. Some will disagree. Some may even denigrate you. As you work to find a system to help you, look for people that will inspire you as well. And that one mother fucker…you know the one who has something to say about everything. Cut them out too. Life is hard enough without having unsupportive people jawing in you ear. Do it right now. Because now is all we have.