I Get It Now

My inner circle has always been older than me. Much older. My closest friends are 20 plus my senior. I didn’t intentionally set out to do that. But I am really glad it worked out that way. They gave me an education far greater than the 2 degrees, and 27 certifications that I earned. And now that I will be turning 60 in a little over a month, these are some of the things that stand out most, regarding my older friends.

The end of the week. If they held a job, the weekend became really important to them. Like they peopled too much. {Not like when we were younger. We doubled down on the people. We went to bars and parties.} Most just wanted to retreat to their castle. It was like they were safe there. A place where they don’t have to be anything other than themselves.

Sex less. Food more. I feel bad about this one. I used to give my friends a hard time about not having sex as much as I was. I mean when we’re young, sex is a major form of entertainment. {At least for me it was.} I remember watching my friends. At this stage of their life, the way they felt about food, was the way that I felt about sex. That totally blew my mind.

They lost the need to be right. There was very little arguing. The focus was more on peace. This I did understand. Spending almost my entire life meditating {about 45 years}, I didn’t put up a fight about a lot. Sure, at times I did. But the older I got, that ship sailed pretty quickly. And sometimes, that came with “goodbyes”.

Comfort not speed. I am referring to the way they dressed. They didn’t give a fuck what they wore. They paid their fashion dues. If it was comfortable, they’d rock it. I was pretty good with this too. But now, I fully embrace who I am. And unless I am on stage giving a lecture, or doing a TV interview, it’s messy hair, jeans and a t-shirt.

Quantity over quality. It didn’t make a difference if it were friends, food, or even a job. If it didn’t add value to their life, it was a no. Not only was it a no. It was a Hell no. They had the ability to know what they wanted, and any watered down version of that was a waste of time.

And the last observation I made was alone time. They sought out time that was just for themselves. It didn’t matter if it appeared if they were being selfish. They just knew the importance of the reboot. And we can’t reboot effectively, if we are surrounded by people needing our attention. Having a space where they could connect with whatever gave their life meaning, made an impact on me.

I get it now. And with each passing day, I am glad that I live a solitary life. Other than a little daily TV and prayer time with my wife, it is all about me. Yes, I still work. I still see clients and consult. But I design my schedule. It is beautiful. It is like I am free. And as most of my friends {and family} have died, I have an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all the lessons they taught me. I truly do get it now.