I Just Became A Widow

The other night the wife and I were out shopping. As she was having a high pain day, I helped her get into the car. As I was lowering her into her seat, a man stopped and stood behind us. Once she was in the car, he said, “I spent the last 10 years helping my wife. She recently died, and I just became a widow.” I explained that I too, had been helping my wife for the past 10 years, but I couldn’t imagine what he was going through. We stood in the cold evening air, and chatted for about 5 minutes.

From there, my wife and I went to grab a coffee. Our young barista {who usually was all smiles and talkative} looked down. Her energy was off. She preceded to say that they were having some pretty heavy family issues. I chatted her up, and left her with a few words of encouragement. All this after a 10 hour work day, dealing with homeless people.

So what am I talking about today? Love now. Hug now. Kiss now. Tell people exactly how much they mean to you. I have spent my entire life {39 years working in mental health} listening to people speak about regrets. The deathbed conversation that they couldn’t have, because a loved one passed before the right time presented itself. Let me let you in on a little secret. NOW, is the right time.

When I lost my daughter a few years back, many asked how I kept going so seamlessly? The answer is love. There was not a day that I saw her, that I didn’t tell her that I loved her. More importantly, a time when I didn’t hug her. I loved her with all my life. I know she could never question that.

I’ll let you in on another secret. You’re going to lose them all. Everyone of them. But love is a bond that will keep them close. In this life, and all others. So get to it. My heart broke, listening to that man telling me he just became a widow. I comforted him the best I could. But he too said that he was carrying on, because he poured everything in to her. And while that doesn’t bring her back. It does keep her close.