Ice, Ice Baby

Ice, ice baby. Yep. That’s been my approach to problems. I have found that letting things sit, I most often get a better result. Let me explain…

I can recall more than a few times in my life when I went all in without taking time to see the big picture. It ended disastrously. In one scenario, it changed my life forever. It took over a decade to recover from that action. So now I opt for the turtles pace. When in doubt, I don’t. I would much rather miss out, than to recover. It’s not that I am scared to take chances. I am just better at being more calculated at them now. For the right project, I would risk just about everything. That said, you can better believe I have done my due diligence.

Ice, ice baby has helped me though many tragedies as well. Having been a crisis counselor for so long, we often go from one fucked up situation to another. You don’t always have time to process in real time. That’s what meditation has taught me. I acknowledge what has happened, then I put it on ice. When I have time and I’m in a good space, I allow myself to go through the process. To feel the event in it’s entirety. I commonly use this practice when it comes to death.

Over the past 3 years, I have lost a lot. Lost my daughter, father, brother, aunt, a few close friends, and a bunch of clients. Yet if you know me, you would never know about it. I have this uncanny ability to suspend thought, and get done what needs to be done. By putting loss on ice, I can tend to those who need me the most. I then micro dose my grief through rituals, prayer and meditation. I would be lying to say that it’s not a little harder when it’s your own tribe. But I have found that it works just as well.

We don’t need to feel everything and solve all problems in real time. That’s our anxiety speaking. And anxiety resides in the future. Honor what you need now. If you need to work the problem, work the problem. Need to grieve, then grieve. Need not to think, don’t think. Just don’t use negative measures from doing that…drinking, drugs and other high risk behaviors. My mantra has always been-

Master the hour

Until the hour turns into days

And the days turn into discipline

Whatever you need to do to cope, yet feel alive, do it. As for me and my eternal optimism…it all about the ice. Ice, ice baby.