If You See Me, Don’t

You know, I’ve always been kind of a loner. And it’s not that I dislike people, it’s because I love myself that much. It took me awhile to figure this out. And what a blessing it is to be married to a woman who is my twin flame in that regard. We have an amazing marriage. A big part of that is our independence. For as much as we do together, we equally spend that much time a part. It’s almost like a rock and roll marriage. Tuesday through Fridays, I see her maybe an hour a day. That is largely due to my work schedule. That aside, we both seem to take great pleasure in our own journeys.

If you see me on the weekends, please don’t. It’s not that I don’t love you. It is because I am spending time repairing myself. Working in the helping profession my entire life, I do know the value of self care. I know that’s a buzz word right now. But trust me when I say my self care game has been on point for 3 decades. And a lot of the times self care is shutting the fuck up. You, me and the entire world. I cannot be an effective human if I am not whole.

Unwind, decompress or recharge. I don’t care how you label it, just do it. I can go hours without external noise. In fact, I often do. I dig the void. The void that only silence can bring. There is so much to learn from the void. There is so much energy to gain. Some times I get outside myself and think I should be doing something. And then I remember I am. I am rejuvenating.

So do me a favor on the weekends. If you see me, don’t. It’s like the parent who get’s weekend visitation. They want to get the most from that time. That’s me. I give so much away during the week, I need “me” time. I need to be validated. I need to feel special. And I can’t really do that in the company of others. That comes from the void. That quiet space. That Zen like state. Yes I know that you can see me. But I ask that you don’t.

With much love and affection. Honor that space where you are, and where you are going. And only you know the direction. And it is hard to access it with external interruptions.