Know What You Want

The important thing is be honest with yourself about what you really want. I teach this very simply mantra to all of my clients. Impulse is the enemy. For it is better to miss out, rather than to make up. If you can do that, you reclaim your power. But somewhere along the way, many will buy into the bullshit that social media is showing us. Our attention span has all but disappeared. We think fast, move quickly and want the next best thing. Relationships suffer, because we see images of everyone else having the perfect partner and life. But here’s the thing. It’s not real. And even if it were, you’re missing out on your experience, your process and your world. Slow down and focus.

To start, let me say that a lot of times social media is not social. It has an agenda. I am all for sharing my life. What I am not for is comparing my life. Big dreams are great. What is not great, is if they are someone else’s dreams. Be in competition with no one. Know what you want. Make a plan. Execute! Don’t let the fear or the facade of what you are seeing on social media deter you from your dreams. I personally know and have worked with some very heavy hitters…meaning those who appear to have it all. But trust me, they have their issues too. Slow down. Figure out what means the most to you, and then embrace that.

I’ve been a rich man, and I’ve been a poor man. And in either case, money did not make the man. What made me was my intention. I believed in me. I took the time to cultivate relationships. I tried to treat everyone the same. I say tried, because it took me some time to realize that life wasn’t all about me. I’ve always been a good man. But like everybody else, I too have lost my way from time to time. But when I took the time to look within, it mattered not if I had money or not. It only matters how I treated others. It didn’t matter if they could bring something to my table.

I feel like so many us are lost in images that are just not real. We’ve become a TikTok society. Everybody wanting to be famous, everybody wanting to be funny. Living our lives in 15 second increments. I’ve been approached and told several times to get out there more than I already am. And while I’ve done pretty well on social media, the goal is not to be an influencer. I already live in a beach town, make a decent buck and have a incredible wife. We are blessed that we get to travel every month. We are very blessed. But from the outside while we appear to be blessed, we went though tremendous loss. And that is my point. Many of us are basing our wants off of stories that we know little about. Every successful person I’ve met, has been humbled more than a few times.

Know what you want. Impulse is the enemy. Slow down and stop comparing. Yes, there have been some overnight successes. But those are rare. Life is a marathon and not a sprint. And in the end, all that you can take is memories. So make them good.



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Vance Larson

Vance Larson

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.