Laser Focused, Laser Laid Back
A few days ago, I wrote a blog called, “That Little Thing.” It was about the little things that really take us down. Not the big. I wrote that we are usually built to handle the big things. But the little, well, we more often than not ignore them. And over a course of time, they begin to wear us down. And finally those little things are too much, and we lose our shit. So…
The past 3 weeks have been a heavy lift. Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. To top it off, the car I paid for in cash a few months back, the transmission dropped on my way home from work. No big deal, life happens. As I sat there on the side of the road for a few hours waiting for AAA, I was working the problem. Working the problem, is being proactive rather than reactive. Car was towed and wife picked me up at the service station. And then…
I called out sick the following day, so I could continue to work the problem. The service station called first thing in the morning and informed me that the transmission did drop, and it would cost between 6–7 grand on the car I just bought. Fuck that noise. I’ll just get another car. So I am out 12 grand in cash. It sucks, but can’t stop now. I have got to work the problem. But what happens when the problems work you?
I say all that to say this. I have learned more about myself, and life, when I was under pressure. Yesterday so many things went wrong, by the time I got home, I told my wife that I couldn’t talk to her. I was still in the throws of working the problem. And this is the beautiful thing about a life long meditation practice. I have learned when I am effective, and when I am not. Spending the better part of my life doing crisis work, yesterday it dawned on me that when it is my mess, I am laser focused. When it is someone else, I am laser laid back.
Laser focused means I tune everything out and I am relentless. I am polite, but will tell you very quickly that now is not a good time to be with me. In other words, you are not a priority {unless God forbid you are in real distress.} Wife understood and we circled back to each other later in the evening. All good.
Laid back focus, I am as calm as you can be. The storm may be raging, but there I am assuring you that we have options, and we’ll get through this together. So why the difference? Because I am not one of those people that talks about problems. I don’t need comfort. But for many people, they are, and they will need comfort. People need different things. We have to do what is right for us. But many of us don’t. Which is why that little thing often takes us out.
So, what am I talking about today? Laid back focus, or laser focus? Know what you need. Know what gets you through a bad day. Better yet, have the self awareness to understand that you may be carrying around those little things that on the surface bring no real weight to you. But when multiplied by many, will literally drive you into the ground. For me, it is meditation. Always has been. My guess is, it always will.
As for me and despite being out tens of thousands of dollars, I have learned a lot about myself. And probably the biggest is, I am proud of myself. Despite continuously being “Rocked”, I never act in anger. I know when I am toxic for other people. But most importantly, I continue to bless other people. And perhaps that is why I am writing this. Maybe we need to get out of our heads, and back into our hearts. No greater deed, is when someone who is suffering, helps someone who is suffering more.
