Miles
The room is lit only by the TV. It’s going on 5:00 am, and I am just starting my workout. Still recovering from COVID, I double up on my yoga. As I am in my cobra pose, a commercial comes on for senior dating. When the commercial was over, I thought they {the people in the commercial} still had some miles on them. Let me explain…
I’ll start by saying that I am 56 years old. It’s a strange time, because I don’t feel old, but I keep getting these subtle reminders. Never mind the aches and pains, but things like losing people in my circle. I have always been surrounded by death. Working with the HIV/AIDS population when the life expectancy was 6 months, I saw death on a weekly basis for 20 years. From time to time, I would lose someone in my clan. Now a days….
Getting back to the miles. I thought, good for them for still wanting to enjoy life. Being in mental health my entire professional life, I have watched far too many people pack it up and live like an old person {whatever that looks like.} Or should I say, living like there isn’t much to look forward to. The fact is, as we get older, many get boxed in due to illness for example. In some cases, the Internet keeps some from developing in person relationships. {Which I think happens at any age now.} And in some cases, the elderly just don’t want to deal with the bullshit.
I work for a non profit during the day for the benefits, and it’s my passion. In the evening, I work for myself, because that is where the real money is at. That said, I am the oldest in my office by far. I love my team. Good people, but they sling an enormous amount jabs at me about my age. You would be hard pressed to find anyone that knows me, that didn’t say I am the most laid back person in the world. I can see where people my age and older, could get offended.
I can recall my mother many years ago when she was retiring, complain about ageism. I knew it existed, but I have become keenly aware of it now. You know, until you experience something, you never really get it sort of thing. There are aspects that I don’t particularly like about getting older. But the flip side of that coin is, that I mostly love it. And it’s not just because I am free in my thinking. I got that many years ago through meditation. But it is because I appreciate every little thing. Even the bad stuff.
In conclusion, I know that there are more years behind me than in front. But the beauty in that is, I am selective in with who I share my energy with. I make no apologies for who I am. {I am not above apologies, and will apologize if I am wrong.} And I create a world of sacred connections. Outside appearances mean nothing. The judgement of others does not even enter my mind. The only things that rent space in my head are, things that bring peace and kindness to not only myself, but all that I come into contact with. And if my miles have taught me anything, that peace and kindness are the only miles worth walking for.
