My Favorite F Word

Some love to hate. Others hate to love. What do they have in common? Pain. In both cases, people are in pain and afraid to get hurt…again. So, what is the answer? I believe we must learn to be the love that we never received. Not everyone that hurt you, meant to hurt you. Most {I would argue} were loving to the level they were able to. But they got hurt. And in turn, a pattern was born. I get it when we were young and growing. But as an adult…holding onto that pain is a choice.

I am not downplaying anyone’s pain or problems. Trauma is real. And I recognize that some will never recover. However, that more often is not the case. Being hurtful and hateful is easy. It requires no effort on the part of the hurting person. It allows the world to be wrong and them to be right. It is isolation at its finest. But it breeds no benefits. Love on the other hand…

Love, ah love. The benefits are endless. All one would have to do is Google the benefits of love. But forget about those benefits. Just think in terms of putting down the pain. No more weight to carry. It must be exhausting with all that weight and the self-loathing. Give yourself a break. You don’t need to love. You don’t even need to trust. Just start with forgiveness. Yourself, the trespasser, or life itself. I promise you the world will respond in kindness.

Love to hate. Hate to love. You are not living. You are dying. The science is very clear on this. Give yourself a break. Learn to live without the apology that you never got. The love you never received. The only thing hate does is chain you to the offender. The good news is you hold the key to that chain.

You can love to hate. Or escape the hate. If hating is no longer working for you, try something different. Forgiveness. It will immediately unlock those chains, and they will fall to the floor. Feel that? That’s freedom. And that is truly my favorite F word.