New Vibe New Tribe

Why are you still friends? No, seriously? You hold onto people for life, and then wonder why for the life of you, that you can’t hold on. You want a new vibe, yet you’re holding onto an old tribe. I’m not saying that we cannot have lifelong friends. What I am saying is expand or shrink your circle accordingly.

It’s sad to see people hold onto someone, just because they once served a purpose. You know that one friend that you went to school with, but has spent the last 8 years doing nothing but brining you down? Cut the cord. We’re allowed to outgrow people. We don’t even need to offer up an explanation. You can love someone, and cherish the memories and still move on. It does not make you a bad person. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s is healthy to want more for yourself.

There are people I know from my childhood, but I would not call them friends. Yes, we did time together. Yes, that time was also very enjoyable. But I am not a child anymore. I will be courteous to you. But no, if your vibe doesn’t speak of positivity, then we won’t be hanging out. It’s not about judgement. It’s about placement. And I will always place myself in a tribe that is inspiring, serving and seeking self improvement. If that makes me an asshole, then I’m an asshole. It’s like staying in a marriage that does not breed happiness, just because it once did long ago. Why? Free yourself and you both can seek happiness on your own, or with another. It is okay to be selfish. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I know lots of people who have trauma bonded. But just because you have one thing in common, doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be connected for the rest of your life. What happens if or when you’ve healed that trauma? That common denominator is gone. Now all that is left, is two individuals who realized that they have nothing else in common. It’s okay to share time with someone. But that doesn’t mean you have to share eternity.

Not everyone who enters your life is supposed to stay. Pull up the anchor and move on. Don’t be mean. But unproductive relationships, lead into unproductive lives. And if that sits well with you, mission accomplished. But if you desire and demand more from life, you will need a tribe that can elevate your vibe. And we cannot invest in our future, if our past is not making any deposits. Family included. I love the saying, “You want to know what you future looks like? Look at the 5 people you spend the most time with.” It’s all about the tribe, baby. When people ask how I am so laid back? I point them in the direction of my tribe.

There is nothing wrong with leveling out. I just prefer to level up. And if you crave that new vibe, you’re going to have to seek a new tribe.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Vance Larson

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.