People Pick
We’re only as good as the people we pick. There is science behind friendship. The American Psychological Association reviewed 38 studies. The findings had some overwhelming results. High quality friendships significantly predict well-being and can protect against mental health issues. Those with no friends, or poor quality friendships die prematurely. That’s a risk factor greater than those who smoke 20 cigarettes a day. So let’s talk about it.
This is something that I preach regularly. We are only as good as are circle. Which is why I keep my circle small. It’s not that I am anti social. I am anti asshole. And when I say asshole, I don’t think you’re a bad person. I just think you’re bad for me. Does that mean that I’m not going to show you respect? Of course not. But at this stage of my life, you have to be able to improve upon my peace. See what I am getting at?
Blink. I won’t, and my people don’t. I can recall a situation when someone in my circle was accused of some very bad things. The world was crashing in on them. I didn’t blink, and I didn’t hesitate. And while I wouldn’t fight their battle. I would shield them as best I could. And publicly.
I have been wrong, and so has my circle. But that is why having a high quality circle is all about. We don’t blame, fight, accuse, or belittle. We have conversations, empower, challenge, and motivate each other. They say there is safety in numbers for a reason. Still, I prefer to live a life of solitude. I do keep a close circle for just that reason. To call me out, when I am off.
Tonight I am asking you to look at your circle. Who brings value? Who brings chaos? Never mind your history with them. Doesn’t matter if they are blood or not. If they don’t bring out the best in you, it may be time to evaluate their place in your tribe. You need not cut them out if they bring little to the table. But you may want to limit their access to you. There is nothing wrong with choosing yourself.
Yes, I want everyone to win. However, many don’t want to put the work in. Respect that. Then respect yourself. We’re only as good as the people we pick. So pick those with purpose and passion.
