Pick your Problem

Pick your problem, but don’t hold onto them. We all have stuff. And by stuff, I mean things that we would deem a problem. I think where we get into trouble, is when we use them as an identifier. I get it. It is easy to do. I have done that a few times in my life. And what I learned is, that the issue became bigger than it really was. I allowed it to get big. So big in fact, that it consumed most of my waking thoughts. The problem was not as bad as my thinking about it was.

Although I have never gone to therapy {not that I am above it, just meditation has always been my thing}, I support those who do. Talking about our problems in a therapeutic environment can help. Working in mental health has been my entire career, so I know the value of talk and release. It’s like a pressure valve. That stress flows out of you in the moment. And that is good. But many people actually set up a base camp within their problem, and live their 24/7. And that my friend, will take you down faster than you can image.

It is never helpful to live with the problem all the time. It’s like having a really bad headache. Most of us will take an aspirin to get rid of the pain. But what we’re really doing is masking the pain. If the pain lingers on for days, week into months, we go see a doctor. There will be a test to hopefully find the root cause of the pain. And while medication might be part of the treatment plan, there are usually other steps, and a multi level approach to feeling better and cure. Everything from diet, stress reduction to surgery. So the aspirin buys you time, and breaks the 24/7 pain.

When it comes to pain and discomfort, I am proactive rather than reactive. It gives me control in an out of control time. But…I get on with my life and embrace as much normalcy as possible. I personally am living with a pretty serious health condition. Most people that know me, do not know that I am at stage 3. But every now and then, they will find me literally balled up on the floor, laying in a pool of vomit. At that point {or when I’m able to communicate}, I let them know what I am dealing with. Although not fatal, when it hits, it is brutal and leaves me almost unresponsive. I tell you that so you may understand this. Do not let your pain own you. Do not let your pain become your identifier. It is by far the biggest trap we can fall into.

So I close with this. We all have problems. And many of us will pick a problem and hyper focus on it. How is that working out for you? I doubt that it is, and you find that it is more hurtful than helpful. So we can pick a problem, or we can see it as part of our journey. Like most people, I’ve had many problems in my life. I just don’t talk about them. Because I refuse to pick a problem. I choose to be a participant. And that’s where our power lies. Not me lying on the floor in a pool of vomit complaining. It’s me rising to my feet, washing my face and getting on with the day…if possible. That is how my story goes. There are many bad paragraphs, but no bad chapters. Problems or progress. Pick one.



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Vance Larson

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.