Poison Parts
I was talking to a client the other day. They have a tendency to end up in abusive relationships. They wanted to know why. I said that we need to look deep into their belief system. That sometimes, we believe things that literally draws people into us. You know, the whole like attracts like thing. And in the case of my client, it was her poison parts. Let me explain…
Poison parts. We all have them. I’m not talking about those things that we don’t like about ourselves. Hell, on any given day, we could stand in front of a mirror and find things to pick at. I am talking about the things that in most cases, we aren’t even aware of. Those things that have been imprinted onto us. Those things that we accept but are not healthy. I am talking about the negative programing that we cling to. But here’s the thing. Just because we have heard something a few times, doesn’t mean it is true. And even if it is, or was, doesn’t mean we need to hold onto it for the rest of our lives.
I’ll give you an example. As a younger man, I went from relationship to relationship. So much so, that my sister asked me to stop bringing so many different girls to family functions, because it was confusing her kids. But I digress. The girls/women would often say that I was running from intimacy. In retrospect, some of the times I did. However, I just loved being single. But I started to believe that I was not capable of a long term committed relationship. It wasn’t until I took close to a year off from dating, that I discovered that I actually had pretty good boundaries. See what I am getting at? Had I believed my programming, I probably never would have found my wife {of over 20 years.}
People say things. We believe them. And with social media, we get shit slung at us all day long. So, I ask you, what are the poison parts of you? What are you clinging to that isn’t true? Just like I started to believe that I couldn’t enjoy intimacy, it was poison. But I did the work. And that work became the antidote. That antidote led to the best thing in my life.
Do you keep seeing the same patterns play out in your life? Are they healthy? No? Guess what? You’ve been imprinted. You believe in some bullshit that someone, somewhere said to you. Take a hard look at that. If it’s not true, let it go. If it is, do the work. Because right now you may be poison. And the antidote is available to you. And a better life is waiting for you.
