The world is not black and white. It’s shades of gray, baby. And thank God that it is. For I don’t want my circle to look like me. I want them from different backgrounds, educations and cultures. In fact, show me your raw, real side that you think is unlovable. That’s the real you. And I dig that shit.

Life is both messy and complicated. But that’s what makes us grow and become unique. I have always been attracted to the dark side. {By dark, I mean the pain that people push through.} I love stories of survival. I love stories from far away lands. I love people without filters that speak of love, poetry and art. People that many would call outcast.

I remember years ago when I went to work with the HIV/AIDS population in a time when there was no cure. Nothing but pain, death and judgement. I remember swimming in a sea {metaphorically speaking} of gay men and women. I would often be asked if I were gay? Rule number one. First, it’s none of your fucking business. Second, being gay is not a bad thing. And if I were, rule number two say’s to refer to rule number one. What I remembered most about those years, was that I met people that did not look, act or think like me. That got me out of my comfort zone real quick. And you know what? It was glorious.

My circle is vast to say the least. I literally have friends who are porn stars to politicians. Convicts to constables. Priests to paupers. Everyone has a story. And for the most part, I am interested. I am interested because I already know my story. You’re in my life for a reason. I want to know who the players are. As does my wife. She is not as social as I am. But she listens and learns. She is a quiet force of magical energy. And all it would take is 2 minutes for you to find that out if you just spoke to her. But many of us don’t. We overlook the quiet ones. Because it is safer in our comfort zones.

For me, comfort is safe. Diversity is sexy. I don’t have a problem if you look like me. But if you do and you spend time with me, you’re going to meet some people who are very different from your way of life. Because I refuse to see the world as black and white. And when I dine, it will be with the porn star to the politician.

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.