Privilege

Young, talented, easy on the eyes, and a calm spirit. My wife is all that, and so much more. We have been together for decades, and have pressed into each other, far deeper than I thought was possible. Two hippie kids who fell in love the very first time they spoke. Dated a few months and got married by years end. Sounds like a fairytale, right? It is, but…

About 10 years ago, my wife’s body began breaking down. This was hard for her to accept, as we were both very active. We both worked out daily. We hiked several times a week. She was also a runner. There were some days where she would go for a run twice. Every aspect of our life was physical. And if I am being completely transparent, the sex was out of this world. But then she became disabled. That’s a tough pill to swallow at a young age. But there we were.

Better than a half a dozen surgeries under her belt, she hasn’t been able to work in over a decade. She is on more medicine and therapies than anyone I know. She cannot drive, has extremely high pain days, and has to spend most of the time in her room. She struggles on many levels. But she fights without complaining. In short, she is the strongest person I know.

We’ve had to have some very intense conversations about what our future might look like. These conversations are not foreign to us, as we lost our daughter a few years ago. In fact, we lost everything a few years ago. We have since rebounded, but the one thing we have not bounced back from is her declining health.

She would be the first to tell you that I work some pretty insane hours. She then has to contend with her feelings that she is not pulling her weight. I come home and do a lot around the house. Yes, she pitches in when she can. But it bothers her that she cannot contribute more than she does. She needs to understand this one thing. It has been a privilege.

The trust that we have had in each other is beyond comprehension. And that trust has taken me to levels that I didn’t know existed. She has made me a complete person. And I have been honored to walk with her every step of the way. On days when she thinks that she can’t go on, I remind her that she will forever be the girl in booty shorts, wind blown hair, sun in her eyes, and love in her heart. She has healed me in ways, that I didn’t even know where I was broken.

So, for my warrior wife. Keep fighting. I got you. In this life, and all others. Never feel like that it has been a set back for me. It is more than I could ever have dreamt. You are my heartbeat. You are my life. You are the one. It has been my privilege to call you wife. Especially on the days that you are battling.