Red Flags

The beautiful thing that happens when I blog, is I get to release those internal conversations I have with myself, that I can’t have with some people. Fix or fight? That’s what it all boils down to. Our relationships. Have we paired up with people who will jump in head first to fix a problem? Or do they want to fight about it?

There is no denying that the right relationship will make you feel invincible. The wrong relationship however, can set you back years. Let’s take out those relationships that we had, when we were growing up. While they can be damaging, a lot of us move past them as we get older. But then something happens. Now in our mid to late 20’s, we start to see patterns. Red flags. And for many of us, we run to them like it’s a life saving beacon. Red flags? What red flags? Come on. We all know that someone who is notorious for picking the wrong partner. And despite our best efforts, they are addicted to the drama of the fight. I get it, make up sex is awesome. But what is the price that we pay?

Pick someone who will say, “Let’s fix this”. Fix or fight? Every relationship will have seasons of discomfort. But discomfort doesn’t mean the end. Discomfort is a chance to get to a level of intimacy, that you might not have gotten to. Let’s fix this say’s,” I got you. We’ll figure this out together.” If your first reaction is being defensive, you simply don’t feel safe. Uncomfortable conversations are the good stuff. Knowing that we are growing is a powerful place to be. And you’ll never get that powerful feeling, if you never have to overcome anything.

Long term relationships know this principle. {When I say long term, I am referring to relationships that are at least 10 years or more.} But even couples that have only been together for a handful of years, start to realize this. Fighting with your mate, makes the weight of a dysfunctional relationship feel unbearable. It is never about being right. It has to be about what is right. And if you or your partner isn’t open to a healthy conversation, you will never see 10 years…

Red flags aren’t inherently bad. They can be overcome. But I go back to pick someone who is willing to have a tough conversation. Red flags without the willingness to be open are disastrous. And you will know the difference by the way you feel. So pick a partner. Not a punishment. A little discomfort in real time, is nothing compared the weight of a lifetime of red flags.