Sword

Vance Larson
2 min readAug 30, 2024

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This morning, I posted a meme of a Knight with his sword drawn and the caption that said “Fucketh around and findeth out.” It’s Friday, so why not. Just as I was leaving the house, the sky opened up and started pouring. Kissed the wife and ran out. Right as I get to my car, I passed through a bush and tree. I ran face first into a spider web. I kept trucking to get out of the rain, and I jumped into my car. I looked in the rearview mirror, and the spider web was in my hair and on my face. It looked like I was dipped in cotton candy. Ew, gross!

As I was running to the car, I noticed I broke my banana. That is not a euphemism. {Come on. That’s funny as shit.} My banana was truly broken. Apparently, my lunch slammed into the tree and it broke. I began my hour commute, and would you believe that these mother fuckers were driving 20 miles under the speed limit. WTF! Dude, its rain, not a hurricane. Just pull over. Let me out of my car. I’ll become the knight. Where’s my sword? It was a crazy start to the day. So, you know what I am going to say. Let’s get into it…

We’ve all had days like this. I’ve written about it many times before. Today I want to focus on our morning focus. I start every morning with a moment of gratitude, at least 40 minutes in the gym, maybe 15 minutes of wife time, followed up by a meditation while in the shower. By the time I walk out the door, I have already stacked the day in my favor. By the time I get around to put my feet to the ground, I am locked and loaded. Head on straight. I am ready.

This morning got me to thinking about it, while all these slow ass drivers impeded the flow of traffic. So, I turn on some blues, and get lost in the ride. Not a bad morning at all. And this was made possible by doing the work. You don’t need to be a morning person, but you would do yourself a favor if you just didn’t roll out of bed and start rocking and rolling. Take a minute to get your head straight. And don’t start with negative self talk either. Because if you talk about it, you’ll be about it.

As for me? Sure, there are things that could get me to draw my sword. I just don’t talk about them. But if you really want to know. Fucketh around and findeth out.

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Vance Larson

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years. I share my experiences {both personal and professional} about thought provoking subjects. Follow me.