The Earn And The Poet

I was washing the dishes tonight, when my wife walked past me. I said to her, “Thank you for marrying me”. It was one of those moments that just organically unfolded. {They actually happen a lot}. I couldn’t keep myself from telling her. And the truth is, we kiss more now than we did 20 years ago. We just align.

Right after I thanked her, I started thinking why did I say that? I saw a meme a few years ago that said, “Flirt with your girl, the way those dudes at her work do”. That made me laugh. But from the jump, we vibed. It’s never been forced. It’s been poetry. I am the poet, and she is the poem. She flows. She makes me look good.

The truth is you can love someone and not earn them. We get complacent and stop trying. Sure you hit on the big things, but that’s the easy part. All those little things you used to do, you should probably still do them. Taking the time to listen to them. Their day, their experience is still valid. There is an intimacy in that exchange of energy. And in my opinion, it should only grow stronger the longer you are together.

Maybe we should rethink “The Earn”. Just because we have it, doesn’t mean we can’t lose it. To earn it is a daily process. It is a love language that is always relevant. It will make you a better person. It is not keeping score, and it cannot be possessed. But it can be lost.

So get back to “The Earn”. Those little things produce big dividends. Or, you can keep on doing the bare minimum. In which case you leave the door open for those dudes at her job. {Oh come on, that’s funny.} If you have to force it, it’s fear. Become the poet. Let them be the poem.