The Mother Father

My mother was the best father I could ever have. My dad, like many dads split when I was very young. I have very few memories of him as a child. I have fewer memories of him as an adult. But this is not about him. This is about the stand ins. Those who took on the roll of fathers. And just because it is Fathers Day, doesn’t invalidate all that you have done.

From the single mother, to the older brother. From the community member, to every coach, teacher and anyone else who stepped up for those without a positive male role model in their life. This day is for you. For you are just as deserving {if not more}, than many biological fathers.

To all those who are standing in. You are truly standing out. From having the hard conversations, to simply being there to listen. To modeling behavior that is honest and productive. To speaking life into those who are feeling less than. It all adds up. It all makes a difference.

The only thing that is required to be a father is a compassionate heart. Many will say it is blood. But in my opinion it is not. I’ve spent 38 years working in mental health, and I can say that blood has very little to do with family. It is all about admiration, determination and love. I have had literally hundreds of clients through the years that were the subject of horrific trauma, dealt to them by the hands of their families. So maybe we rethink blood as family.

For all of you mothers who took on the dad role. For all of the others that stood in. This is your day. Celebrate that, and celebrate you. The world may not have changed because of you. But someone’s world did. And that is something that no one can take away from you.