When I was running on the treadmill this morning, I got to thinking about my relationship with my wife. You see, someone sent me a message on FaceBook, asking me how come I kiss my wife so much? After all, we have been together for a long time. I said because I love her so much. While it is true, most weeks someone mentions something to me about my relationship. Which makes me feel good, because it makes me feel like I am doing my job as a husband. But that got me thinking. Why do we have a really solid relationship? I have been thinking about that for quite awhile now. And the answer that I came up with is, we never say no.

We were out last night having coffee by the water, and I asked my wife why. Over nearly 2 decades of being together, we really could only come up with one time that one of us said no. That is pretty remarkable. It didn’t matter if it was financial, sexual, emotional or whatever, the yes always came. It may have taken a little time to get there, but it always did. We didn’t put pressure on the other person. We put the idea on the table, and eventually it gets served.

The fact that we always got to yes, prompted me to think about why? And the answer that I came up with, was that we are both really good at putting each other in the others person shoes. I dare say we mastered that skill, but I’m not sure if we ever really master anything in life. With that being said, her happiness means the world to me. If I have to partake in some things that I care not to, to ensure her happiness, I will. And the truth be told, more often than not, I actually enjoyed it….if I truly gave it a chance. Same for her.

I don’t know what the secret to a successful relationship is, but I do know that if you are being self-serving, it’s going to bring about some darker days. As for my wife and I, we embrace the yes. Having complete trust in someone can be intimidating. But you know what is even more intimidating? Knowing that I didn’t do everything in my powers to bring happiness to the love of my life.

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, and have spent the last decade working as both a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist.