The Perfect Man

Wife and I were out on a coffee date yesterday morning. We were in a cool little coffee shop, in a cool little Delaware city. It was a windy autumn day. Holding hands and strolling through the winding streets, as usual, we were lost in the conversation. Now sitting in the back of the coffee shop, the conversation continued. The coffee was on point, as was the food. Feeling relaxed and enjoying each others company, she said something to the effect like, “It’s easy when you’re married to the perfect man.” And that made me flash back to a few months earlier. We were out with another couple, and the topic of marriage came up. She said,” I would marry him all over again.” The other couple stated that was really nice and refreshing.

Okay, real talk. I am far from the perfect man. {I know, it didn’t need to be said.} But 20 plus years later, the wife and I really invest in each other on a daily basis. Despite me working crazy hours. We talk to each other every day. More importantly, we listen. And that by far, has been the foundation of our relationship. And because it is, there have never been any surprises. From sex, to money, to family, to work, we knew long before where each other stood. Thus, no surprises.

Tomorrow we are getting on the road for some long overdue “us” time. Between my work schedule and her disability, we don’t get to spend as much time together as we would like. And despite talking every day, it is nice to be able to collapse into each other for a few days or so. She has been my best friend from practically the first day that we met. So much so, that I gave her a key to my house within the first week of dating. We just knew. But why…

Because neither one of us has ever tried to change each other. From day one, we spoke life into each other, and didn’t judge one another for any reason. I asked to see her darkness, so I could love her like no one ever dared. She put total trust in me, and I work daily to make sure she knows she is safe. Now does that make me the perfect man? There are none. But there are people {both men and women} who are willing to build with you. To be safe for you. Who want to empower you. And trust me, you will know. You won’t feel excited when you are with them. It will be the complete opposite. You will feel calmness. And that is how you will know. They will ask nothing from you except for your happiness. And if that isn’t perfection, I don’t know what the fuck is…