Tired

I’m at the age where I am 4 years away from retirement. I’ve done enough where I should be okay. My body say’s to ease up. My mind say’s all in. It’s not about money for me. While I could use more money {who couldn’t?}, I feel the need to use my experience to make life easier for those in conflict.

Working in homelessness has literally put me in the fields of addiction, AIDS, domestic violence, sex trafficking and sex offenders, just to name a few. I have seen horrific things. So why at this stage of life do I feel the need to lean in? So others don’t have to see or endure those horrific things. And while dying is one thing, dying alone, scared, cold in an abandoned building is another.

These people that many find grotesque, are people just like you and me. Capable of love, and have feelings like you and I do. But so many judge it, just as they do with addiction. In my 38 years working in the field, I have yet to come across one person that said they wanted to be an addict or homeless. But then trauma happens. The real gateway drug. And those who are unsupported, their life may take a turn that is beyond comprehension.

I’m tired. There are days that I want to tap. But the truth is, I don’t think I could live with myself if I did. I’m not their savior. I cannot save anyone. But what I can do is disrupt the system. I can hold the system accountable. I can be a voice for the voiceless. Yes, I think about retirement most everyday. And then I come across yet another hopeless person, or some young woman being trafficked, and then the reality sets in. My time is not done. In a sense, I am just getting started.

I am tired. But passion is a powerful force. On those days when you have nothing left in the tank, may you find your passion. Because passion leads to action. And action is how we change the world. And if that is not enough to keep you going, I’m not sure what would.