Unexpected Ways

I keep seeing post that say, “Do good, for it will come back to you in unexpected ways.” I don’t do good for it to make its way back to me. I do good, for it to make its way to you. I don’t know. I guess some need to give, with the hopes to get. That doesn’t sit right with me. Sure, we are all self-serving on some level. But I think the greatest acts of charity are done in the darkness. Or in other words, in privacy.

Yes, I want good things to find me. And yes, I believe good deeds, more than faith, will open the doors to Nirvana. But I personally do good because I know what it is like to have my world turned upside down. And had it not been for forces outside of my power that kept me going, I’m not sure where I would be.

I know I can’t save everyone. And over the past 4 decades working in the helping professions, I have saved a lot. And with each decade, the act of helping took on a different meaning for me. The last 10 years literally were no feelings at all about it. My wife would confirm this. It didn’t matter if someone lived or died. The brutality that I witnessed. The pain, suffering, suicides, and overdoses. They rarely affected me at all. So why did I stay in my chosen profession?

It is my belief that in the end, we lose everything, except love. Some will meet some truly tragic endings. Others will not. But it will end for all of us. And if I could provide a little respite along the way, that somehow gave my mere existence meaning.

I am sure when I was younger, that on some level that it was self-serving. Now the act of serving is a sacred exercise. I don’t feel better when I give. In fact, I don’t feel anything at all. I just do good when I can, for that is the price of admission to this life.

Having good show up at my door is nice. But I don’t expect it. I do good, for it to make its way to you. And that is a blessing that has freed me. We are all in this together.